Will People still accept you with Psoriasis or freak out?

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Will People still accept you with Psoriasis or freak out?

Posted by Kito619 on 22nd July 2012 10:07PM

Hi,

I'm new here so will tell you a brief story of my condition.
During the break down of my relationship 2 years ago I started to develop mild scalp psoriasis which was treated.

When i finally was asked to leave (not because of me just her wishes) my partner and 7 month old son i was a broken man! I suffered depression and turned to alcohol to ease my loss,I since that point have various degrees of psoriasis on my elbows legs back face and scalp.
some treatments ease it but never totally clear it, i've since decided not to try and find a new partner because i dont think they would understand or might be put off by it.
I'm only 29 and used to feel so good about my self and now I feel totally lost in what direction PI should take.

has anyone else felt the same or had a new relationship since getting or having psoriasis?

Kind regards Paul

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  • Personally Paul it will all depend on the…

    Posted by clarkester on 23rd July 2012 12:07PM

    Personally Paul it will all depend on the person but for the most part if they genuinely like you they will accept that it is a part of you.

    I had developed mine as a teenager and was extremely self conscious about it, as you can probably guess worse nightmare to be covered in PS during them years. I was fortunate in my first real relationship that my girlfriends mother also suffered with it so she was very understanding.

    With my wife now it has not been as straight forward as when we met I had it very much under control and she was aware that I had it due to little patches and me explaining about how bad it was when I was younger. But I don't feel that she was prepared for the outbreak that I have suddenly developed over the last few months due to a load of stress over one thing and another. But she does support me and offers support although personally I am very self conscious around her and myself these days don't like her walking in the bathroom when am showering.

    Suppose what am trying to say is some may freak out but most won't when you are in a relationship and even if they do probably not half as much as we freak out ourselves.

    Oh and am now 37 and am still not use to it after 23 years.

  • Sorry to read about your experience. Grief on…

    Posted by saintsfan on 2nd August 2012 03:08PM

    Sorry to read about your experience. Grief on the breakdown of a relationship can be overwhelming. Trying to come to terms with it can be difficult enough even without something which impacts your physical health and appearance.

    I've had psoriasis for over 30 years since childhood and psoriatic arthritis for nearly 20, since my mid 20s. I have met and married my husband in that time.

    It took a long time, decades, to realise but no-one will accept you as you are until you start to be able to do so. I know that sounds like some cliched self help book but it's true. I have no idea why my husband loves me but he does. And these days I leave it at that. No trying to work out why, no trying to undermine his love or tell him he shouldn't love me because do that, and he would eventually do as I said and I would have created the very problem I was worried about.

    Even if you find a treatment that works well for you the reality is the psoriasis will be back at some time. And you need someone who will stick around regardless of the condition of your skin. I was in my late 30s before I married and had any number of disastrous relationships before that. Plenty of men who said it didn't matter but give it time and it became apparent it did. One particularly horrendous one was the best lesson I could have had. I finally woke up to the fact I was better off alone than with a bully like him. And, of course, when I started to think that, I loosened up about it all.

    Friends of mine remain single and would like a partner even though there is nothing physically 'wrong' with them. Others are married/have partners who are deaf, blind and/or wheelchair users. Finding a partner, a good partner, has little to do with how your body works.

    You have a son, a joy many will not experience. Love him. Love being a dad. Love your time together. If you have a job, do your best at that. Enjoy your friends and family. And when you're so busy doing all of that someone will notice you and like all of that about you. And if you reach the stage of doing something more proactive about finding someone, internet/speed dating, do it. Why shouldn't you? There are no rules saying you shouldn't.

    I hope you've managed to sort out the alcohol. Simply it makes psoriasis worse. So does smoking. That isn't lecturing, it's medical fact.

    It may not feel like it today but when you're feeling more at ease with the rest of your life someone will notice and want to be part of it. Skin and all.

  • To be honest Paul, it'll depend on different…

    Posted by lucymargaret1993 on 30th August 2012 03:08PM

    To be honest Paul, it'll depend on different people.
    I've had psoriasis all my life and have been down on myself all that time aswell. I had my first boyfriend at 18 and at that time I was on Ciclosporine capsules so a majority of my psoriasis was cleared. The only relationship ended after 9 months cus he chose drinking with mates at uni and only chose to see me one every 2 weeks if that. I spoke to him since and he admitted what little psoriasis I had did creep him out. I got depressed and turned to alcahol so I know how you feel hun!
    6 months on, my psoriasis has flared up really bad due to stress but I'm going to have hypnosis done to calm me down and I'm reducing the alcahol intake.

    The peoples opinions you should truely care about is your family and friends who will love you and respect you no matter what! Dont be so down mate, we've all been there, thats why we're on this website.

    Kind Regards
    Lucy
    xx

  • Hi Paul. I've had psoriasis since I was…

    Posted by Circlecaster on 5th April 2013 11:04PM

    Hi Paul. I've had psoriasis since I was 3 and have had it completely clear up, and then come back with a vengeance! Don't be put off looking for a new partner. Trust me any woman worth your while will overlook it. I'm 31 and have been with my bf for 11 years in which time its cleared up and come back many times and he doesn't think badly of me because of it. Keep trying and don't let your psoriasis put you off finding a new love. I've been in your situation and thought no one could possibly want me with my skin condition, but obv I was wrong! Don't let it get you down! Hugs, Rachel x

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