Need your help here, my gf just stopped meeting due to her condition and i terribly miss her and its been a whole month but she says that its very hard for her to move around, walking exhausts her and she gets nauseous.
This is affecting me and my mental health as well.
I want to help her and make her understand that i will be there for her.
She is just distant sometimes.
FYI - english is not my first language, sorry for any gramatical errors.
Posted Mon 13 Nov 2023 07.51 by Tess 58 years
That sounds really difficult for you both.
Have you been together for long?
Psoriasis is a horrible illness.
Has she said that she would like you to be together?
Posted Mon 13 Nov 2023 12.30 by Nazir
Its been couple of months since we are dating,
Everything was great but she never told me about her condition.
I just came to know recently,
She did say that she wants this relationship but i am just scared how to navigate this.
1Posted Fri 24 Nov 2023 07.19 by kiloran From Lichen Planus to Plaque Psoriasis to Palmoplantar and Nail psoriasis - newly diagnosed 2023
It is difficult.. For the person with the condition sometimes you just want/need to be on your own both physically and mentally. In my experience it leaves me short-tempered and quite snappy. And physically not wanting to be touched or close to people. She might also have a sense of shame or anxiety about it which will make it difficult for her to be with you. Or she might think she doesn't deserve you and wants to push you away.
For you it's important that you know it's a lifetime condition with no cure although it can be well-managed and clear up on its own. It's a big commitment for a partner to make. Only you will know whether you could live with this long term because it will affect both your lives. Are you ready for that? I've been with my wife for many years and we're very close but this condition has caused arguments and difficulties between us. She's my carer when things are bad and there are times where I just want to leave because I don't want it for her.
Posted Fri 24 Nov 2023 09.22 by Nazir
Thank you for your reply,
I have talked to her about this and she always pushes me away and tells me how i can always do better and find someone who's healthy and can keep up with my efforts.
These times have been difficult and i just want to know how to make her understand that i have fallen in love and willing to work this out.
Despite her condition, she deserves to be loved.
And also it hurts when she pushes me away and snaps at me but i just keep my silence and listen to her.
I dont really make alot of money and neither does she.
But i want to give her the happiness she deserves.
Once again, thank you for sharing your experience, i pray that all is well and you find peace.
1Posted Fri 24 Nov 2023 12.46 by kiloran From Lichen Planus to Plaque Psoriasis to Palmoplantar and Nail psoriasis - newly diagnosed 2023
Thank you Nazir.
There are many people here who have had psoriasis for decades and have led happy family lives with children, grandchildren, good jobs etc. She will be in the "I don't want this for you" phase because she loves or cares for you. I remember having the same conversation with my life partner a few months after we met - she also has a lifelong medical condition.
For you just make sure you're doing it for love and not for a sense of honour or duty or because you feel bad about leaving her. It's a tough road but then so are all relationships. It's slightly harder for women because some treatments mean you can't have children whilst you're taking them and for a few years afterwards because of high risk of birth defects.
These are tricky conversations to have but an important part of any relationship. You need to consider the practical and logical things as well as the emotional and passionate things.
Posted Sat 25 Nov 2023 23.58 by Nazir
I understand and very thankful that you have shared your experiences with me.
If i may, how do navigate her emotions?
Because honestly am not sure what to do, when she starts pushing me away.
I console her, telling her how much she means to me and will try my best to support her in this.
But i dont think this is helping.
Posted Sun 26 Nov 2023 14.32 by kiloran From Lichen Planus to Plaque Psoriasis to Palmoplantar and Nail psoriasis - newly diagnosed 2023
I would agree with her and respect her wishes and back off a little but say you're there if she needs you. And perhaps check in with her once a week or so. I know there are times I just want to be left alone with this condition particularly when it's really bad.
Posted Sun 12 Nov 2023 22.12 by Nazir